The Cutest bunny!!

I have to share this really cute plush toy that my daughter makes.  She can make this in a large 12″ doll or a small palm sized guy. Nearly any color is available. Now we don’t have any animals in the house or smokers or even any nuts. So, let us know if a super special person in your life is getting one for a gift, we wrap too.

http://etsy.me/1oJTfyR

http://etsy.me/1oJTfyR

She is saving her money to buy a rabbit cage and rabbit. She Loves rabbits!!! By the way not just any cage will do, she wants the ones that are nearly a house on wheels. There is a wired run attached that allows the rabbit to get on the ground and eat grass, but it can’t dig it’s way to freedom. lol  She wants to have it be as humane as a caged animal can be.

 

 

“Don’t rush my mess!”

I find that there are times in my life that things just get…messy.  Things fall apart and fall away. Here is an example. I have OCD and I’m a homeschooler of 5 kids ages 15-5 with 2 under 5 not “schooling”. Getting all of those subjects ready for the day is an hour long process that CAN’T be rushed. Now, the average mom may not mind or be bothered if, let’s say, a person wanted to “help” you get it done faster. But if you are like me, OCD, what that sounds like is….”Hey, let me totally stop your mind from working in an orderly and normal pattern so that I can dance on your nerves with a smile.” Not helpful.

As you know from my last post, I am in the beginnings of changes. Let me know healing, Father. This path of changes and growth has me treading into new grounds of sharing and joint efforts. I know that OCD is not a healthy life and I am making the best shift in my mind set. When the kids offer to help me put away their folded clothes, I have learned that their version of stowing away clothes won’t kill the day. (That was really hard to learn) And now I can laugh if the 3 yr old gets yogurt on her clothes and thinks that is how princesses eat yogurt.

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I see the steps I have made and see the staircase before me.  The Father, if you are not aware, is a very pushy force. He wants the best of us and for us, but MAN, He sure doesn’t let off the gas.  I feel on some days that I am barely holding on and others that the wind in my “hair”(lol) is amazing and I don’t want to stop. In weak moments I hold tight to my OCD and scream, “Back off of this one, it’s mine!!”

Tonight I sat with my 15 yr old and tried to explain to her the way my mind works in OCD world. She seemed a little sad for me, but at the same time confused as to why it was that way. We (OCDers) weren’t asked, “Would you like for your brain to drive you to the nut house over something small as the arrangement of the playing cards or the way someone puts away the dishes?”. Nobody wants to feel like there is a marching band in their head beating to the point that you can’t hear anything else. I don’t.

I fall apart without order. I could cry from frustration when my line of thought is broken and I have to start over. This is where He has me weeding now. I am forgiving myself for thinking that the only things that I was good at was organizing. That I was not a good mom if the kids didn’t have neat clothes and straight rooms and a house that was clutter-free. I release myself from the feelings that I am a bad wife if I’m not in control and have my hands on-deck. I am handing over to Him that knows best, the feelings of power and obsession. I fall away from the need to do it all all the time. I can leave my husband to do for himself and the kids can learn from failure.

Father, hear my cry! I am weak and I don’t know what to do. I have not been without this feeling before and I’m not sure where to put it. Show me a way that is righteous and upright in your eyes. Lead me to the path that you have made for me. Give me your yoke to bare so that I may find rest from my struggles. Your way is perfect. Yah, leave those in my presence with the Shalom that can only come from You. Make my face to search always for Your face and bring me into your loving arms. Amein!

 

Hillsong United “Oceans”

Let me know healing, Father.

me headcovered (2)

Many people think that they “know” me, but few really do.Of those who would say they “know” me many would be surprised to know that I am new to feeling love. Now, I have known affection, but to say that I could feel love, no. I didn’t even know I had this gap before I started using the essential oils. I thank the Father for His gifts that He has provided in the plants and trees that make these oils up.

I won’t go on about my upbringing, but know that this is a generational curse. It can be tracked into the depths of my roots, this lack of feeling. I am recognizing it and am changing it for my children and their children.

The first mention of generational curses is found in your Scriptures                Exodus 20:5 – You shalt not bow down yourself to them, nor serve them: for I Yahweh your El am a jealous El, visiting the sins of the fathers on the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

I started using Lavender, lemon, frankincense, Ylang Ylang and Passion, peppermint and rosemary. I was in a full on emotional crisis, but continued to use the oils. Bam!! The wall of reality was reached and the Father started revealing to me areas of myself that I wasn’t aware even existed. I wasn’t giving myself permission to feel anything like hurt, sadness, pain, joy or love. I would express anger instead of sadness, because sadness meant you let someone hurt you. These injuries were there, but I wouldn’t see them. Hurts that I never healed from, traumas that I survived that I never addressed at all. I found wounds that my mother had made upon me that were hers to repair. Issues with the relationship between my biological family and I were well known, but that this issue had made any kind of impact to my present life was a new idea to me. Forgiveness is required of me and for me in order for me to truly be open to my Heavenly Father.

In the last few months I have actively taken part in private conversations with my mother. She and I are now working together to repair the damages that we have inflicted on each other. There is no forgiveness given if you are unable to show forgiveness to another.

As for the relationship I have with my own kids, that too has been under heavy repair work. I was under this false blanket of comfort, that I wasn’t turning into my mother and repeating the same “sins”, but I was even more so. I cried to my children and begged them for their forgiveness. Their reactions have been mixed and that was something I had expected. I would love to say that from day 1 there has been 100% improvements, but as with everything in life, this will take time to cure and become the new norm. I am quicker to ask for their forgiveness and to explain my true feelings. I question them about their deep feelings and allow them the room to express them openly. My oldest is having the hardest time with the changes, but I know with prayer this too will be healed.

Father, I come to you in humble prayer, that Your will for my life be done.  I lift up my husband to you. Make him a strong man in Your Word, so that he does not bend when pressure is high. Make him the father to his children that You have called him to be. Have his lips only bring esteem to Your name and praises to Your ears. I lift my children to You oh merciful El. Please heal their heartstrings. Ties those strings to my heart and to their father’s heart. Make our family like the walls of Jerusalem, built to last. In Your Son’s name I pray. Amein

I have slowed down on using the peppermint oil, it numbs you emotionally.

If you would like to purchase any of these oils,

http://www.mydoterra.com/layahpontiff

or would like to buy a book to help you understand how to use oils,

http://www.aromatools.com

Look for Modern Essentials